Christopher Street

50 People

It struck me yesterday that I really don't watch TV like other people. And, I don't mean that I watch more TV than other people, because that fact has been in evidence since I was, you know, four. And I don't mean that I am more critical in my watching, as I have been accused of being, because, really, I'll just watch any old thing. I like good television better than bad television, yes, but even bad television is better than the giant sucking void that is no television at all.

When I was 12, I got a C in life science and my punishment was no TV...for 9 weeks. Yes, folks, until that grade came up, no television. No Fury in the morning, no Happy Days on Tuesday nights. I remember sitting in the kitchen, eating my dinner on a tray table while everyone else was in the living room. I remember trying to catch a glimpse, just a glimpse, of blue light reflected off of the kitchen window.

But I digress. I love television. Even bad television. Fact in evidence.

I guess that what I mean when I say that I watch TV differently from other people is that, for me, television is an active exercise. Some folks, so I am given to understand, watch TV while they iron, or while they pay bills. They listen to the TV while they help their kids with their homework. When their show gets cancelled, they might not notice for a couple weeks, and then may only wonder, hey...what happened to that show I used to like? A show going off the air is rarely a tragedy to my casual television friend.

These folks don't read People magazine, or the TV column in the Washington Post. They have no meta information--they don't know who Tommy Schlamme is, or that Josh Malina has been in everything that Aaron Sorkin has ever done (or who Aaron Sorkin or Tommy Schlamme or even Josh Malina are, frankly). They don't know that Joss Whedon was nominated for an Academy Award for Toy Story, or that he was even involved in Toy Story or even, really, who the heck he is either. They know what the Academy Awards are, though, even though they never watch them. They don't know that Chris O'Donnell is only under contract on Grey's Anatomy for either 2 or 6 episodes this season, depending on who you believe, so his romance with Meredith looks doomed, no matter how long the writers want to draaaaw it out.

They don't know these things, and yet, they seem to like TV just fine. They talk about it a lot, sort of in passing, sort of the way that people talk about sports, or the weather. "Hey--did you see Grey's Anatomy last night? That Dr. Mark is hot!". Now, they don't know who the actor is, or that he's married to Rebecca Gayheart, or that she was in 90210, or that...well, they don't actually care, really.

I care, and that makes me a bit of a freak.

I woke up on Wednesday morning, and my first thought, the first waking thought I had was, I wonder if the fast overnights are on the Futon Critic yet?

Fast Overnights are the first set of TV ratings that get released, and my favorite show, Veronica Mars, is a bit on the precipice this season--it needs to perform better or, well, it will vanish in the night, like so many other shows that I have cared about, likely far too much, in the past.

It needs to do better.

So, there I was, at 8:00 AM, furiously pressing refresh on my browser, waiting for the ratings to come in, like I have a *stake* in it, like I have money invested, or like I promised my soul to someone based on those ratings. Like it's my job to watch those ratings.

And then they came in, and they weren't great. They weren't dire, they weren't awful. They just weren't great. And someone on the Internet said, you know, it could be worse...and I said, well...

I said that Rob thinks that the show needs to do Buffy numbers this year to survive, and that means that they need to sneak into the low threes and they're not there yet.

And that was the moment that I realized that I don't watch TV like other people.

For the record, Rob is Rob Thomas, creator of Veronica Mars (not the guy from Matchbox 20, although I like that Rob Thomas, too. Chances seem good that if your name is Rob Thomas, I will like you.). "Buffy numbers" means that the show needs to be at least as popular as "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or it won't make it to a fourth season. "Low threes" referred to ratings. Buffy's ratings were usually around 2.8-3.3, where that number represents the percent of TV households that watched. So, around 3 percent, or 3-1/2 million households. So, Veronica Mars needs 3-1/2 million households. They have about 2-1/2 million.

And that's where those 50 people come in.

Nielsen Media Research surveys somewhere in the neighborhood of 5000 people to come up with the ratings that we see in the paper. These 5000 people represent, for the 2006-07 TV season, approximately 110,000,000 households. We need an extra million households, or approximately 1% of all households. In order to get there, we need 1% of the Nielsen families to start watching Veronica Mars. One Percent.

50 people.

The fate of my show rests in the hands of 50 people. 50 completely random people.

Now, see, if I watched TV like other people, I wouldn't know any of this. But I don't, and I do, and it tortures me.

So, please, if you are one of the 50 people that I need, please just watch the show.

And if you're not, please watch anyway. I feel like if more people actually watched, if the idea that Veronica Mars is the best--or, okay, second best--damn show on television managed to get cemented in the Zeitgeist, then Nielsen would have to get dragged along. If *everyone* watched, dammit, Nielsen would, too.

And here's the thing. I am certain, certain, certain that one of you, sometime, someday is going to stumble upon my girl in syndication, or on a borrowed DVD, and you're going to say to me...wow, this was a really good show. Why did it get cancelled? And the answer to that question is:

It got cancelled because you didn't watch. Same reason they cancelled Firefly. Same reason they cancelled Sports Night. Same reason they cancelled Cupid. Same reason they cancelled Invasion.

It got cancelled because you didn't watch.

So, just, you know, avoid all the drama and watch the damn show.