January 11, 2003

[General] The Salty Man Cometh

Today, I watched a man do a very odd thing.

I met John and some of his coworkers at Fuddruckers for lunch. [As an aside, I have been wanting something to eat for a week now, only I couldn't figure out what it was that I wanted. I thought that it might be popcorn, but that wasn't it. I thought that it might be candy corn, but that wasn't it. It also wasn't oreos, or macaroni and cheese, or nachos. What it was was a baked potato. Yummmmmm. :)]

Anyway, Fuddruckers. We're sitting there, and I catch a glimpse of a man salting his burger. He salts it for a very long time. A really, really long time. I would venture to say that he salted the burger for a solid 30 seconds, every once in a while hitting the shaker so that the flow would be more efficient. But, see, I could see the salt pouring out from across the restaurant. It was plenty efficient. It was also a lot of salt. In ancient times, enough salt to buy a donkey.

Then he stopped and started working on the half of the bun with the lettuce and tomato. And he salted. And salted. And salted. He salted another 30 seconds on that side. He salted so much that I could see the salt from across the room, laying there, clinging like new snow to the lettuce and the tomato. In ancient times, his donkey has just been upgraded to a horse.

But the best was yet to come. He stopped salting for a second, surveyed his miniature salt-lick and then, just before he put the two halves of the sandwich together, he gave just one more shake to the burger side. Just a small shake, a trickle, a pinch, a modicum. Compared to what had come before, really, an infinitely small amount of salt. Apparently, the salt balance was out of whack. At this point, John and I couldn't help ourselves--we had to laugh.

The lesson today is that, sometimes, people are very, very odd. And there's some guy in MD that really, really likes salt. And when I want something that I can't quite put my finger on, I should try a potato.

Posted by Lori at January 11, 2003 1:49 AM