Christopher Street

WARNING: If what follows seems

WARNING: If what follows seems at all sad, it isn't intended to. But I am breaking in new sandals today and my feet hurt, so I suppose that it could come off that way. :)

My friend Heaton attended a wedding recently and wrote about the experience, in amazing detail, in his journal. To recap, for those of you who either don't read Heaton's journal or who read slowly enough that you aren't through the entries yet, basically, he has this friend, Lisa, whom he has known for many, many years and who, during their time together in college, shared with him, in much detail, what she imagined her wedding to be like. After attending the ceremony and reception, he shared with all of us what it actually *was* like.

This got me to thinking. I had no wedding. We eloped, partly to save the expense of a wedding, partly to get additional housing subside from the Navy and partly to avoid the hassle of planning a ceremony long-distance. Now, nine-and-a-half years later, I certainly don't feel less married, just because there was no music and no Big, Expensive Dress. I think that it was the right decision for us on many levels. I don't regret it, really I don't. But, Heaton's detailed recounting of Lisa's wedding did get me thinking. If we had had the big to-do, what would it have been like? What would I have wanted for myself, for us. What would John have allowed? (For example, he might have put his foot down at some of the musical suggestions, I'm thinking. :) )

First, the dress. It would have been spectacular. I actually tried on quite a few dresses prior to the eloping and had a pretty narrow stylistic idea of what I wanted. White, sure--Emily Post be damned on that one. Satin. Off the shoulder. Drop waist. Flowing skirt, but not too full. Minimal lace or beading--a little shiny is good, but I didn't want to look like a doily. Probably something like this:

I wouldn't have worn my hair up or back, either. Regardless of how much my mom likes my hair up, regardless of how elegant it might be, it's not how I think of myself when I look my best. I look my best with my hair wild and curly and cascading over my shoulders. That would be how I would have wanted to look.

I don't think that I would have gone the full veil route--my mom wore a tiara, and I might have liked that. I have been called a drama princess as recently as 3 hours ago, so I think that the tiara would have been a good fit. Ballet slippers and pink, pink lipstick would have rounded out the look.

I think that I would have let my bridesmaids pick their own dresses. We looked at a few of those, my almost maid-of-honor and I, and, frankly, weren't impressed. I have always hated the custom of picking out really ugly dresses for your friends to wear once, and making them pay for them! No, I think that we would have decided on a color, probably black, and asked that everyone just show up in something formal. If I were to ever again be a bridesmaid, that's what I would want.

My first instinct on flowers is white--lilies or roses. But the more I think about it, the more I think cascading wildflowers are probably more my style. Plus, all that color would look cool against the stark black and white of the dresses.

The bridesmaids would have proceeded to Canon in D. I know it's a cliche, but I have been in love with that song since I saw Ordinary People. Standard Bridal processional and recessional. The ceremony would have been short, performed probably by a justice of the peace. John isn't a big fan of the whole God thing, and I'm not a big fan of the whole religion thing so...we probably would have written fairly traditional vows, just omitting the God stuff. And short, did I mention that? I have been to short weddings and long ones and I know that short is better.

The ceremony would have been late in the day, probably around 7 PM. All the better for the sleeping in, and the night reception. Speaking of--No band. Amateur live bands pretty uniformly suck. DJ's can only suck a little, as they are saved by the pre-recorded music.

No videographer at the reception. Bad experience there. :)

Open bar. Buffet, rather than sit-down dinner.

White cake, white icing. Lots of icing flowers, in vivid colors, to go with the wildflower theme.

I think that's all. :)